infinite gifts

Have you read One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp? I've just looked through the first twenty pages or so, courtesy of Amazon's helpful "Click to Look Inside!" facility, but it's very high on my list of books to read. The theme seems to be thanksgiving in all circumstances. The Christian author has known tragedy and hardship; that much is clear from the second page of the book onwards, so this isn't going to be along the lines of "Isn't Life Just Wonderful?" Rather, from what I've already learned about the book, it seems to be encouraging the active practice of thankfulness. The habit of being grateful for what we do have, rather than focusing upon what we don't have. The idea of looking for beauty in life, and goodness, and things which can bless us, both big and small. And the author suggests that the reader makes a "gratitude list" of those things, to remind ourselves of what we have been thankful for each day, and to spur others on to do the same. This reminds me of the Thankful Villages, who were blessed by the simple fact that they had lost no one in either World War. What a wonderful attitude to take. How lovely to be able to look at life as it is, at this very moment, and to think, "Right now, irrespective of anything that I don't have (and might want), I am grateful for this thing or person that I do have."

The first twenty pages - and other people's reviews and recommendations - have encouraged me to read One Thousand Gifts as soon as possible. But I'd like to start the Gratitude List today! I spent this morning with one of my most cherished friends, who lives a short drive away from me. I appreciate her - and the fact that we live close to each other - so much. And for the first time in days, the weather is beautiful: there's a blue sky and gorgeous bright sunshine. I can dry my pile of laundry outside. It was ten times easier to take Joshua down to nursery school than it would have been in a shower of rain. And it was an enormous pleasure to walk home afterwards with the sun on my face. These are small things. But an active acknowledgement that they are there to be enjoyed, and have blessed me today, is important and life-affirming. Remembering what we have can somehow crowd out thoughts of what we don't have. It's a odd, but wonderful, concept. There's an infinite number of things out there for which we can be thankful day by day. What are you thankful for today?

who needs sand?

Cat Mandu is a beautiful animal, but she has some disgraceful habits. The surreptitious placing of slimy furballs in the middle of the night on the bedroom carpet for me to step in is possibly my least favourite: what's wrong with the bathtub, or the kitchen lino? I suppose there are times when a non-wipeable surface just won't do and she wants to see me down on my hands and knees operating a tin of Vanish, as befits my status as one lower than she in the family pecking order. And, despite the fact that we've provided her with a perfectly serviceable litter tray and a small private room in which to use it, apparently Joshua's sandpit is a preferable option. The problem is that I have so many things to remember to do in the course of every day that I don't always manage to replace the lid immediately after he's finished playing with it, and that obviously constitutes an open invitation to wee liberally within its inviting depths.

In other news, economy cornflakes are not the tastiest breakfast cereal you'll ever eat but they're extremely cheap, costing something like 31p for a plastic sackful, and we've just discovered a marvellous alternative use for the bag I recently found languishing in the larder. Pour some into a plastic bowl, hand a rolling pin to a three-year-old (supervised, of course, lest the utensil accidentally sails in the direction of a baby, cat or window) and let him whack away until you have a huge pile of crunchy golden fragments. Not only is the bashing of cornflakes in itself a highly satisfying activity (I also employ Joshua to help with my muesli-making), you then have a pleasing heap of sand-like particles with which digging, scooping and pouring can be enjoyed for hours. Okay, so lots of it is bound to end up on the floor, but a great deal of fun is there to be had and - crucially - the cat hasn't been caught using it as a toilet. Yet.

love in action

The Simple Homemaker has been running a series on her website recently called "Love in Action" which seeks to promote the demonstration of all types of love to those who matter in your life. It's simply lovely and basically suggests that making the effort to smile, be unselfish, take care of others' needs, listen, put someone else above yourself, look for the good in people and encourage those around you makes a difference to your relationships and to the well-being of those you love. The posts she's written are mostly based on relating within the family, because that's the situation in which she spends most of her time, but the majority of them can be applied anywhere to most of the people with whom we interact on a daily basis.

Reading The Simple Homemaker's love-themed posts, and riding the bus home from nursery today, have reminded me afresh of the enormous importance of demonstrating as well as harbouring love for others. As Joshua, Daniel and I boarded the bus this afternoon, a young lady behind us was trying to extract her 5-year-old son from the bus shelter bench, within which he had become wedged whilst waiting for his chariot to arrive. A soundtrack of maternal yelling accompanied this challenging task, and as soon as they had climbed the bus steps the boy bounded up to the top deck whilst his mother purchased a ticket and wrestled with her luggage. As soon as she realised he had scarpered, further shouting ensued and her verbal quest to persuade him to come and sit next to her regrettably remained unsuccessful. She bounded up the stairs, scooped him up bodily and carried him back to her seat at full volume, whilst her fellow passengers quaked in fear and looked the other way.

Now obviously I don't know anything at all about that lady's life at home with her son and perhaps other family members. I don't know what sort of a day she had had before boarding the bus. I don't know how difficult her child is to manage or whether she gets any support or whether anyone ever has an encouraging word for her as she goes about her job of childrearing. I certainly have no right to judge or criticise her. But the experience convicted me, not because I make a habit of screaming at my sons on the bus, but because it reminded me of all the times I have discouraged or nagged or insulted or demeaned. I might have done it in a more subtle way, and it might have been in private rather than in front of all the assembled passengers on the number 49 bus, and the noise level might have been more palatable, but none of those facts make it right to discourage or nag or insult or demean. It's so much better to encourage, request politely, praise and bless others. When you're exhausted or feeling low or struggling with a lack of confidence or believe you're taken for granted in life, it's so easy to act accordingly. Yet the consequences of loving in action are so wonderful and make those around us so much happier! Family life is more harmonious and positive as a result. Friendships are strengthened and friends feel valued and appreciated. Serving others needn't be about enslavement; it should instead be about facilitating and giving and helping. It costs nothing to encourage and praise, but the rewards reaped by the recipient can be tremendous.

As the season of Lent begins, it's a great time to think about what we should cast aside and which new patterns we might like to establish instead. I've already made the obvious choice and have given up wine and chocolate, as well as Facebook during the week. Doing without these things is measurable and provable; you just don't drink the wine or eat the chocolate or log on to the website. It's much harder to work on a character trait. But I'm going to have a go. Here's a lovely post about kindness by Beth from Five Kids is a Lot of Kids. She likens the act of using encouraging words to making balloons and setting them free; you might never know exactly where they've landed or what impact they've had, but you should try to send them out it regardless. Bless others with your words and actions. Give love. It's worth it!

happy valentine's day

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 

Love never ends.

(taken from 1 Corinthians 13, ESV)

feeding the soul a little bit more

Time is a precious commodity, isn't it? Thank you so much for reading this post; I'm honoured and touched that you have spent some of your valuable time here on my blog! I constantly feel as if I don't have enough time to achieve all the things I need to get done. I have a card pinned on my kitchen notice board identifying the small number of tasks that must be completed each day, and although it liberates me from the pressure of feeling that other less important things must be achieved as well, I still have a gigantic list of Things To (Ideally) Do that would take a very long time to reel off. Unfortunately for my grimy oven, however, I'm just not inclined to spend the tiny amount of time between Daniel falling asleep and me climbing into bed (which sometimes comprises mere minutes) completing tedious chores. This is the moment when I reach for one of the treats detailed in my last post and feed my soul heartily and luxuriously. But when free time is scarce and I'm utterly wrecked, which at the moment is quite often, only a quick trip into the blogosphere will do. There are just a few blogs which I follow faithfully and regularly, and which I want to share with you in the hope that they'll be your cup of tea as well!

I've already mentioned Alice's website Play on the Word, which is lovely, positive and life-affirming as well as creative, funny and reflective. Her tireless commitment to teaching her children about Jesus through play and supporting the vulnerable and ensuring they are given their rightful and deserved place in society is truly inspiring. Another fantastic blog along broadly similar lines is written by Beth Woolsey, an American mother of five (yes! five!) biological and adopted children. Five Kids Is A Lot Of Kids is utterly hilarious and never fails to lift me if I'm feeling low. Beth's sense of humour in every situation and total dedication to raising her kids right is a real tonic in a world where such a lot of parents are overstretched to breaking point and beyond laughter, and so many children get away with behaving however they want to. Subscribe via email for a regular dose of hilarity and solidarity! Lemonade Makin' Mama is a blend of the spiritual and the creative, packed full of beautiful photographs, ideas, recipes (particularly gluten-free, if that's what you need!), suggestions, anecdotes and Biblical themes, and like Play on the Word, Five Kids and Cherry Menlove, Sasha (the LMM) shares little pieces of her family life and her own heart with every reader. Any encouraging comments you leave for these four blog authors are reciprocated in spades, making you feel as if you are part of a group of friends all giggling or weeping or chatting together, depending upon the subject matter. Sasha has an excellent eye for interior design and I've availed myself of much inspiration on her website, even if our home is more akin to a pigsty at present. And she occasionally writes a post like this one which reminds me that a bit more time spent on my appearance wouldn't come amiss. I think the year after childbirth is always a dodgy time bodywise for a woman, particularly if there wasn't much confidence there to begin with, and when both your children are constantly leaking nasal excreta and wiping it on you all the livelong day it just seems easier if you don't even aspire to look nice. But it boosts your confidence so much when you do! The Simple Homemaker is a blog I've only just discovered, but whilst browsing I came across the immortal Mary Poppins quote "Enough is as good as a feast!" That's so true, and in our materialistic society which throws so many advertisements and temptations across one's path, it's great to be reminded that what we have is more than plenty. The Simple Homemaker promotes a frugal, wholesome, healthy and loving way of life, of which I am all in favour. And finally, a cartoon a day keeps the blues away, and Don't Shoot The Pianist was passed on to me by my lovely friend Fiona who knew I'd appreciate it, as indeed I do! You're sure to enjoy it as well if you're a musician or music lover. This West Side Story-themed comic strip sort of sums up my relationship with Ben. Hope at least one of these blogs appeals to you, and I'd love to hear about your favourites too!

feeding the soul

It's finally snowing! I do realise this isn't necessarily cause for wholehearted rejoicing, as tomorrow morning we'll need to dig the car out in order to get to church, and it's unlikely to have melted before Monday morning when most people return to work after a snug weekend indoors. But after the oddly mild winter we've experienced so far, it somehow feels right to find ourselves blanketed in just a little snow before Spring arrives.

On a day like today, when it's difficult to go very far (we all have colds and both my babies are coughing, streaming and wheezing, so I'm going to save Daniel's first snow experience for another time), it's lovely to spend time pottering around the house doing all sorts of things for which there is no time during the week. Since Daniel strives to stay awake all evening and generally concedes to falling asleep only when I myself am ready to collapse into bed, there is precious little time available for baking, reading, watching or listening to anything properly. But today there have been rugby matches on the television, which has meant a great deal of raucousness and hilarity in the living room for the boys and their daddy, and a period of welcome sanctuary and peace for me both upstairs and in the kitchen.

I really love getting recommendations from kindred spirits in the areas of food, literature, music and television, so when I discover something delicious, I want to pass it on in turn! I've already mentioned my recent discovery of Cherry Menlove's website and this afternoon I made her Chocolate & Hazelnut Pie. It's utterly gorgeous even if you're not a major chocolate fan! The cream cheese offsets the sweetness of the chocolate and the Nutella, and it sets beautifully in the fridge. If you are a big fan of chocolate (or are perhaps thinking of giving it up for Lent, as I am) then you must try it. If you don't have the ingredients in stock and are struggling to get to the supermarket in the snow, just let me know and I'll pop a piece in the freezer for you!

If I ever do get the blissful chance to read anything before falling asleep, I adore cosy and beautifully-written books containing no swearing or violence and ending happily. Any of the Anne of Green Gables books fall into this category for me. They are exquisite and I always feel sorry for any girl who hasn't read them yet, though simultaneously happy for them that they have such a gem yet to discover! Possibly, they aren't the cup of tea of many boys, but they can just go and have an extra slice of chocolate & hazelnut pie. Last year I also discovered the works of D E Stevenson, of whom my late grandmother Madge was a great fan. Mother Muir gleefully gifted me a copy of Mrs Tim of the Regiment for my last birthday, recently republished by Bloomsbury having previously been out of print. It's written in diary form and is witty and gripping enough to prevent you from putting it back on the bedside table when really you should turn off the lamp and go to sleep. I return to it time and time again, as I do with all books I love, and only wish I'd discovered D E Stevenson earlier! Further wit can be gleaned in abundance from One Pair of Feet by Monica Dickens, great-granddaughter of Charles, which I first read as a teenager (at which point I was considering becoming a nurse) and have re-read hundreds of times since. Her character sketches are brilliant and hilarious, and she manages to see the humour in every situation which I think is a rather important quality in a nurse. And anything by Elizabeth Gaskell, but particularly the wonderful Cranford, is always near at hand in my house. Any novel containing such lines as, "A man is so in the way in the house!" has got to be worth a read. The TV series was stupendous, too. Please promote it to the top of your LoveFilm list forthwith! The rest of my Cosy Reading List for today comprises the various Cat books by Deric Longden (introduced to me by my fabulous friend Rachael who understands well my love of cats), anything Little House on the Prairie or Little Women-related, and finally the entire collection of Miss Read books. This estimable lady will be ninety-nine this year and is still writing splendid novels! They are mostly social comedies in a village setting, and again I discovered them via my mother who has bequeathed various of Grandma Madge's collection to me. Whilst staying at my parents' house and finding myself in the unusual position of not having packed a book to read, I plucked a Miss Read title from a shelf, loved it, and since then have received a steady stream of new novels at Christmas which I have received with great delight. If anyone reading this is a fan of any of the books I've mentioned, I am delighted to have a kindred spirit! And please send more recommendations my way so I can add them to my list of books to procure from Amazon (once we've erected more shelves in the house).

I only really discovered Downton Abbey at Christmas when I received the first series as a gift, but now constantly have it on in the background when doing housework in the evenings and am looking forward to the day when I can sit down and watch a whole episode all the way through with a hot and uninterrupted cup of tea in front of the fire! It has its critics, notably those who enjoy picking up on tiny historical inaccuracies or anachronisms such as accidental double yellow lines, but it is wonderful irrespective of any trivial nonsense its detractors have pointed out. Set shortly after the sinking of the Titanic, it focuses upon an aristocratic family and their servants who live in an enormous and beautiful stately home in Yorkshire. Individual character development is what attracted me originally to Downton Abbey, because the writing quickly drew me in and somehow made me care about what happened to each person in every situation, whether or not they were initially likeable. Following the events of the Christmas episode, I am positively brimming with anticipation for Series 3, due sometime this year. Anyone who hasn't seen it is missing out on the most marvellous treat! And, obviously, The West Wing is hard to beat for exciting and intelligent drama with plenty of humour thrown in. We've been watching House incessantly in recent months and feel the most recent series should have been the last (in the spirit of going out whilst still on top form), and for a hilarious dose of geekery, The Big Bang Theory is my absolute favourite sitcom (or real-life documentary if you're essentially married to one of the characters, as I am).

When Joshua was tiny we installed a portable CD player outside his bedroom and played soothing lullabies every night with the intention of sending him peacefully to sleep. As soon as he learned to walk, however, aerials were snapped, lids were torn off and many a poor stereo bit the dust and became capable of very little during this period in his development. So when our most recent CD player arrived in the house I immediately commandeered it for the kitchen on the grounds that it would survive there for far longer. At the moment we concentrate upon one classical album per week which is enabling me to become properly familiar with pieces of music to which I might have otherwise skim-listened. It's lovely to have the opportunity of allowing music to be simply good for my soul just now, after a decade of teaching it as a subject. John Rutter has a dubious reputation among serious musicians but his Be Thou My Vision is beautiful and utterly relaxing. Bernstein's West Side Story is a work of genius, and his earlier musical On The Town is very little known outside the US but very much worth getting to know. Written at the end of WW2, it tells the story of three adventurous sailors on shore leave for 24 hours. It's fun and humorous whereas West Side Story is tense and ultimately tragic, but contains moments of musical tenderness and beauty as well as energy and wit. This instrumental clip should whet your appetite! And another twentieth-century composer I discovered several years ago but am still exploring gradually is Gerald Finzi. His son was married to the cellist Jacqueline du Pre's sister, which is probably how I first heard of him. His music is often elegiac and reflective yet joyful, like that of his contemporaries Elgar, Vaughan Williams and Holst, and evokes the English countryside for me in its gentleness and use of harmonic and lyrical contrast between darkness and light. His most well-known piece is probably the Five Bagatelles for clarinet and piano, which I love, but there is so much more to explore - his concertos and sacred music are delicious as well. There's something wonderful about spending a cosy afternoon in the kitchen with some lovely music wafting through the air whilst it snows outside.

And on that note, I wish you a warm and snug night spent under fleecy blankets with a hot water bottle for company!

making baby food and smoothies

Over the past two weeks, both my blenders have broken, which is a thoroughly tiresome state of affairs! I've had a big one (for making smoothies and soups) and a small one (for blending home-made baby food until entirely lump-free) for the past few years, and they've obviously decided to conspire against me at some point during the last fortnight. So yesterday I sent Ben an SOS text asking him to procure a new specimen on the way home from work, with strict instructions to spend the minimum amount since buying expensive (albeit half-price) blenders has not served us well to date. He came home with a Kenwood smoothie maker which was half price at Sainsbury's and thus only £5 more expensive than the "basics" blender. I can't recommend it highly enough! It comes equipped with two exciting (yes, I'm easily pleased, I know) travel mugs which screw onto the blade unit and can then be fitted with lids once you've done your blending, and those three component parts are all dishwashable without lots of time-consuming and fiddly dismantling nonsense.

So, as I type, my fridge contains a travel mug full of sweet potato, parsnip and courgette and another packed with mango and banana, ready to be scraped into pots and frozen for Daniel, after which I can throw bananas, natural yogurt and golden syrup into the latter without even washing it out and whizz up a healthful smoothie rather than reaching for the banoffee cheesecake! Okay, so that last part isn't very likely; I'll definitely be enjoying a slice of that particularly scrummy dessert tonight in celebration of the impending weekend. But the point is, the Kenwood Smoothie 2Go is a splendid and multi-purpose piece of kitchen equipment and my only regret is that I faffed around with blenders for as long as I did. Happy Weekend!

love is...

Five or so years ago, we invited our great friend Anne over for dinner and the conversation veered in the direction of chocolate. Anne worked for Traidcraft at the time, a company which seeks to fight poverty by supporting and promoting ethical trading practices, and she treated us to an excellent seminar on the subject of cocoa harvesting. After learning how unethically most of the world's chocolate is produced, I decided to make a few changes in the way I shopped for this tasty treat and, for a good while, only purchased chocolate bearing the Fairtrade symbol on its wrapper. But I've gradually slipped in my standards, and last week I visited the Co-Op for provisions only to discover a deliciously chocolatey but non-Fairtrade product on sale at two-thirds of its normal price. So, naturally, I bought five bars with not a thought for how it came to be on the shelves of the shop. And that was naughty of me. Providentially, though, I have been chastised in a timely manner and reminded of the importance of buying ethically.

I follow a lovely blog called Lemonade Makin' Mama, and the author today wrote a beautiful and very thought-provoking post on the very topic outlined above. Please read it if you have time, because I hope it'll challenge you in the same way it has challenged me today. If you search online using the words "chocolate child labour", several BBC articles (here's one) head the list of recommended links, and they make rather sobering reading. I feel ashamed when I remember back to my decision of five years ago and realise how easily I've let convenience, cost and apathy affect my shopping patterns. Like most people, I would feel guilty about tossing a glass wine bottle into the bin rather than the recycling bag. Yet I've fallen back into the habit of buying chocolate that I know deep down has been harvested by young children at some stage of the process, and stopped myself from thinking about the implications. And it's impossible not to make comparisons between the lives of those children and the lives of my little sons, who experience virtually no day-to-day hardship. The idea of someone pressing a machete into their tiny hands and sending them out onto a cocoa plantation is too awful to contemplate. But that's what happens on the Ivory Coast in Africa, to millions of children who never even get to taste the chocolate they have a hand in producing.

So, that's a hideous thought.

Lemonade Makin' Mama issued her readers with a challenge, which I'd like to issue to you now too in the spirit of passing good ideas on to others. Yes, Fairtrade chocolate often costs a bit more, but if everyone bought it habitually instead of reaching for whichever bar was selling for the best price like I did last week, demand would shoot up and the message would continue to get through, which should be vastly higher on our list of priorities than how much we're paying for something which is so cheap anyway. And in any case, depending upon where you buy it, it can actually be cheaper. Since writing the first draft of this post, I've gone back to the confectionery aisle of the Co-Op and priced the smaller bars against their non-Fairtrade equivalents, and gram for gram the Fairtrade own brand chocolate was cheaper (the buy one, get one free deal made it even cheaper again!). Child labour can't last forever, but people like us can hurry its demise along a bit. Valentine's Day and Easter are coming up, and to quote the source of my inspiration for today, "the most loving thing we might do this Valentine's Day is reach for some overpriced but untainted chocolate". Anyone who gives Easter eggs as gifts could buy fairly-traded ones this year. Here's one. Or, as my two lovely friends and domestic inspirations Sophy and Helen recently suggested to me, we could buy an Easter egg mould and some Fairtrade chocolate and make our own!

I've never managed to wade through "War and Peace", but somewhere in that gigantic book is the line, "All that is needed for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing". So true. This is so important. This month I'm hoping to change my chocolatey habits for the better. Please will you join me?